I learned a while ago that life will pass you by if you are constantly stuck in the what if mindset. By that, I mean that you question every choice you need to make, rather than living in the moment. We do it often without even realizing that we are. Probably because we have become so programmed to second guess or question things in this life and today’s world. It’s like the cover photo I chose for this post…it’s one I took of a wall at one of my favorite restaurants in South Florida and it reminds me of the constant battle in our minds of good and evil. The what ifs, can be both good and evil too. We create these hypothetical situations in our minds and have to play everything out before it even has a chance to happen. For some, it eases anxiety to do this. But for others, it creates more anxiety and hinders the ability to enjoy life.
This habit began for me back when I found myself raising kids alone. I had to plan everything out and ensure all ends were met. In doing so, I second guessed and weighed out every decision I needed to make. The what ifs were endless. From, what if I buy the kids shoes and then the electric bill is higher than normal? What if my car breaks down and I just splurged on taking the kids out to dinner? What if I treat myself to something and then the kids need something?
But it didn’t stop there. It happened with big decisions too, like buying a car. Do I lease or buy? What if I lease and the miles are too high when it’s time to turn it in? Where will that money come from? What if I purchase and it depreciates quickly and I end up upside down? What if I just keep my car with the lower payments, but then it breaks down? Then there’s the dating and relationship what ifs. What if they don’t like the way I look or dress? What if they don’t have the same beliefs as me? What if I like them more than they like me? I want to say I love you, but what if it’s too soon? What if I come on too strong? There are just so many what ifs and so many ways to bring in negativity to your mind.
How about, what if it all works out? What if letting go of all that anxiety and overthinking is the best thing you ever did? Decisions will always need to be made, and sometimes it is necessary to weigh the pros and cons and ask the what ifs. But we do not always need to overthink, obsess on, and over analyze every decision we make in this life. Sometimes we need to just live life and let life happen. If we don’t, life and even opportunities may pass us by. We will end up with more what could of been moments instead of wow moments. All because we were too consumed with the endless what ifs. So, perhaps we should leave the worrying and contemplation for the truly big decisions in life, and for everything else…just be. Just be in the moment. You don’t have to be careless and fun and fancy free all the time, but do yourself a favor and just let life happen sometimes. Free yourself of all the pressure to plan every detail out, and of trying to always be assured of the outcome. The only assurance we have in this life is that we have no control over the outcome. You can skip going out to dinner and save that money for an unexpected bill that may never come. Sure, you have that extra money now, but you missed out on the moment at that dinner with someone that may have needed you more than you needed that extra fifty bucks. Or even bigger, you could’ve met someone at that restaurant that could’ve changed your life forever. My point is that you never know which what if is the one to follow, so put your faith and worries upwards and trust that someone already has it all planned out for you. Live life as it should be lived and with those that matter most! At the end of the day, it’ll all work out.